toxicsoup

Well, not toxic, exactly... maybe just a little bit rank. But in a nice way. With a garnish.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

live culture....

I've just eaten a yoghurt that's 2 months out of date.
Partly out of need-for-food-ness, and partly to be bloody minded - to stick two fingers up at fate and do exactly what I like.
I walk under ladders for the same reason. No really, I do.

Back to yoghurt.
Imp hates it when I do that; she always throw things away even if they're 5 minutes out of date.
What a waste. I've found myself, on occasion, sneaking looks into the bin and seriously considering rescuing the unfortunate out-of-date food item.

My argument is that yoghurt is bacteria, so what can possibly go wrong?!

Anyhow the yoghurt was nice, and I bet you £20 that I'm still alive and kicking in a weeks time.

While I'm on the subject (did you notice how I did that? Smooth!) I found this amusing little thingy nestling away in the depths of internetland. Thought I'd corner it, catch its heaving, trembly little body under an upturned bucket and re-release it into the heady freedom of Blogdom.

Using Leftovers.

It Could Be Dangerous if...

  • Eggs. When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.
  • Dairy Products. Milk is spoiled when it looks like yoghurt. Yoghurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway, and can't get more spoiled than it already is. Well, it can, but it rarely gets that far. You can always cut off the fur coat it grows.
  • Meat. If opening the fridge causes stray animals to congregate outside your kitchen door, the meat is spoiled.
  • Lettuce. This is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the salad tray without a blow-torch.
  • Carrots. A carrot that you can tie in a clove hitch is not fresh.
  • Chinese Food. If the carton must be cut away to remove the contents, it's suspect.
  • Potatoes. Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense leafy undergrowth.
  • Canned Goods. Any canned good that has become the shape or size of a basketball should be removed from the premises. Wear a helmet.
  • Mayonnaise. If eating it makes you violently ill, mayonnaise is spoiled.
  • Flour. Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.
  • Raisins. These should not be harder than your teeth.
  • Wine. It should not taste like salad dressing.
  • Tupperware containers. These should not burp when opened.

Rule of Thumb. Most food cannot be kept longer than the average lifespan of a hamster. Keep a hamster in your fridge to gauge this.

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