Well, not toxic, exactly... maybe just a little bit rank. But in a nice way. With a garnish.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006


Why my body hurts. Part 1.

I pranced like a ten-year old, feet moving quicker than the speed of light, my football skills astounding everyone.

"Wow" they cried, "you’re amazing.."

Smugly I nipped past a pair of legs, doubled back, flipped the ball over my knees, twisted 90 degrees to the side and mid-air, whacked the ball straight into the goal.

"GOAL!!!" I screeched, running a lap of honour around the 7, 8 and 9 year old that made up my opposition.

It’s worth noting that add them up and I still have a 9 year old to spare. Too old? Not on your nelly.

The ball headed back my way and I swiftly dodged LittlePerson1 and intercepting, whipped around and dribbled with foot sure talent and immense skill back along the beach towards the discarded jumpers that marked the makeshift goal.

Inexplicably at that moment my legs were encased by light-particles heavier than lead and hanging on like some insidious invisible rugby player, they floored me, unfairly passing the advantage to the opposition and pinning me down.
Evidently evil forces were at work, intent on ruining my street cred.

Checking for witches or people in druid outfits, I squinted toward the prom and hauled my weighty body upright.

Why my body hurts. Part 2.

"Watch this!" I croaked, hurling my wobbling form toward the farm gate, my one wheel changing its mind about cooperating and naughtily changing direction without further warning.

My audience winced, saving me the trouble, while 2 feet further on I crashed into the metal bars and declared myself an almost-competent unicyclist.

Why my body hurts. Part 3.

Imp and I squeezed our way into the single bed and hung on to each other, enjoying the proximity.

"Do you mind if you move a little bit closer to the wall?" she whispered, torso overhanging the mattress.

"Course not" I mumbled and pressed myself against the wall, head pressed up to the wallpaper, shoulders twisted impossibly perpendicular to each other.

Together we clung for dear life, dozing occasionally.


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