Well, not toxic, exactly... maybe just a little bit rank. But in a nice way. With a garnish.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

buying a camera

Everyone gets zits.

I thought that I would stop getting them once I reached the magical age of 20 but they kept on coming like the proverbial buses… none for a while and then a whole gaggle of them all at once.
My face, Friends Reunited for spots.

When I was about 16 I heard a rumour about Oxy10 being 50% alcohol and drinkable in the bargain.... so I tried that, but it seemed that the manufacturers had heard the same rumours and got there before me, emptying a vat of stoat-sweat into the mixture.

By my early 20’s however, various creams and potions had been smeared over my epidermis. My skin was probably worth about the same as Edvard Munch’s ‘The Scream’ after it had been nicked, but easier to track down and much more disturbing.

It was the weekend and I was pottering around, experimenting with toothpaste. Apparently, toothpaste blobbed on a spot and left for a few hours, would dry the spot out. Well, that was the theory and I was the (by now) white-blobbed guinea pig, being the proud owner of about 10 spots..


Harry rang, from down the road.

Did I want to buy the camera we’d been talking about? He was definitely going to get rid of it and it was mine for a fair price.

I liked living in Bristol. The people were friendly (even if they did all talk like Wurzel Gummage) and didn't seem to hate students much. I was even friends with Shirley, down the fruit and veg shop around the corner, which was great for scoring free spuds.

Harry and Aggie lived in a terrace house the opposite side of the road and down a bit. It was your classic Old People’s House – packed full of absolute crap. If ever you needed a hat stand or a painting of dogs playing cards, Harry and Aggie would have a spare one.

I knocked on the door, and Aggie let me in, beaming away. She was so friendly, was Aggie.
Harry hovered just behind her.
Smiling widely, delighted to see me, he shook my hand and showed me into the dining room where the camera was out ready for my inspection.

Obviously I am practically a professional photographer but I listened patiently while he showed me around the apparatus, explaining about f-stops and the like. We talked wisely about the ins and outs of photography while Aggie buzzed around attentively, providing tea and biscuits and looking happy.

They were such a cheerful couple, I was fortunate to have a good rapport with the older members of my community.
In fact, it must have made their day, having a visit from me, judging by their smiles.

I smiled back.

I suppose most of the time they stared out of the window and guarded the wheelie bin.

Shaking hands over our newly-struck deal I said goodbye and crossing the road, turned and saw that they were both stood at the front door, waving energetically.

They really were so friendly.


  • At January 12, 2006 12:27 pm, Blogger frobisher said…

    How lovely, I really enjoyed living in Bristol as well - little experiences like that restore your faith in the human race.

  • At January 12, 2006 2:15 pm, Blogger Sniffy said…

    Then they closed the door, went inside and said "You'd think she'd wash her face a bit more often; did you see all those unsightly spots?"

    Always happy to build people's confidence.

  • At January 12, 2006 2:40 pm, Blogger funny thing said…

    I think they probably closed the door and said "Do you think that toothpaste is a recognised form of face-decoration in Wales?".

    I cringe...

  • At January 12, 2006 2:48 pm, Blogger pissoff said…

    38... I'm fucking 38 years old and I still get spots. I would really like a face transplant. Will they ever stop?

  • At January 12, 2006 2:51 pm, Blogger Sniffy said…

    Nice of April to comment on somebody's blog.

  • At January 12, 2006 3:21 pm, Blogger funny thing said…

    Spots never stop. Luckily, beer is a recognised form of spot-control.

    Hello frobisher :)

    Hello Pissoff ;)

    Hello Tina :(

  • At January 12, 2006 3:30 pm, Blogger Sniffy said…

    It's work that brings me out in spots - little uns in my 'tache (or where my 'tache should be). Off work for a fortnight, spots disappear. Back at work for a DAY and they come back. It's something to do with getting up before it's light. Something like that.

  • At January 12, 2006 4:58 pm, Blogger Inexplicable DeVice said…

    Maybe they thought it was a new trend? Something all the bright young things were doing. Did you ever see them a few days later daubed in toothpaste?

    Bwah hah hah aha hahaha haha a ha!

    Sorry. I really am. Shitting spots. I always get the "going out" kind. Plan a night out and *TA DA* Spot City.

  • At January 12, 2006 6:56 pm, Blogger Kyahgirl said…

    of course they were friendly! They probably thought, 'oh that poor dear girl-how is she ever going to make friends her own age with that terrible white, crusty skin condition?!'

    I have bad news about spots for those of the female persuasion...even if they do clear up, they come back when the hormones start acting up again.
    I've had lovely skin for years and just recently have started getting spots again. However, my doctor gave me this cream "Metrolotion", it contains metronidazole and it works on adult acne (that's what he called it). Its been very helpful. Check it out!!

  • At January 12, 2006 8:47 pm, Blogger S.I.D. said…

    Once treated some poor kid with acne vulgaris Dot to Dot

    Squeezers Paradise.

  • At January 12, 2006 8:52 pm, Blogger garfer said…

    I've got a zit on the back of my earlobe at the moment.


  • At January 12, 2006 9:42 pm, Blogger Sniffy said…

    Oooh, I bet that really hurts! I hate the one inside my ear and just inside my nose. And what about the lip margin ones? The pain!

    So, tell us about your camera then.

  • At January 12, 2006 10:08 pm, Blogger funny thing said…

    I only have them once a month now.. too many hormones I suppose. I've got a bit of a corker on my bum at the moment.

    Don't tell Imp.

    I bet the earlobe one is chronic. You can't squeeze the lip ones without breaking down and sobbing like a baby.

    The camera is kind of camera-ey. Actually I've given it to Imp because I'm crap at taking photos, I'm better with a £2.97 disposable from Tesco.
    I lied about my professionalism...

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