Well, not toxic, exactly... maybe just a little bit rank. But in a nice way. With a garnish.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

chow mein and chips

I’m 100% committed to my diet.

Since January I have lost 18lbs and expect to be nicely emaciated by about July. This is due to my dedication and single-mindedness.

The great thing about being on SlimmingWorld is that I can eat as much food as I like and rarely feel hungry. I can even have a glass of whisky before I go to bed. This means that I don’t crave naughty food like chocolate or pizza or crisps. Obviously I have super-human will-power and can rise above it all with a twitch of a synapse. I’m glad I’m not easily distracted.


“Oh go on,” Dawn-The-Administrator says in a manner that I can only assume is what they mean by ‘wheedling’.

“You haven’t had lunchtime Chinese Takeaway for ages.”

This is true. That is why I am so lithe and attractively almost-slim and she is so…. er… slimmer than me. Dawn-The-Administrator is blessed with a metabolism that operates at the speed of light while mine stopped a while ago for a rest and a little look around. I wonder whether this could be considered harassment and if I could lodge an official complaint citing cruelty and get her sacked before I am tempted.

Luckily I have a will of iron. I check to see if it has noticed. It hasn’t.

“Aaah, what the hell,” I say, “just this once.”

“The usual?” she asks, picking up the phone.


  • At March 25, 2006 9:21 pm, Blogger S.I.D. said…

    Fuck the food,have you done your blogger infinity thingy yet at Tina's??

    Hmmmmm whisky before bed...

  • At March 25, 2006 9:50 pm, Blogger Sniffy said…

    All these people losing weight are pissing me off. Then again, I haven't got out of my PJs today and I'm just about to have my 2nd helping of twiglets.

    It's the pain, you see. I need to dull the pain.

    Well done, btw.

  • At March 25, 2006 11:49 pm, Blogger Sniffy said…

    And weren't you tempted by crispy quack and chips?

    Oh no, you don't eat donald and friends, do you? Good on you too!

  • At March 26, 2006 5:27 am, Blogger Kyahgirl said…

    18 pounds! wow *impressed*

    good job.

    I like the whisky idea...I'm off to get one now.

  • At March 26, 2006 2:13 pm, Blogger Imogen said…

    eighteen pounds!?
    How on earth did you manage that?
    I'm so very jealous- but I've also eaten a pack of four blueberry muffins and a pancake, so I guess i don't deserve to lose weight/

  • At March 26, 2006 8:01 pm, Blogger Tickersoid said…

    I've always imagined you as being extremely fit, what with the mountains and unicycling. Must down an awful lot to fuel that lot.
    Do you recharge at the 'Albany'?

  • At March 26, 2006 8:12 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If your will didn't notice it ddidn't happen. That's how I operate. But then I haven't left the trailer in ages, I wear a tent and I think my dog chewed off one of my feet. If I could only see them, I'd check.

  • At March 26, 2006 9:42 pm, Blogger funny thing said…

    I am reasonably fit.. I used to be a labourer/construction worker/landscaper until 3 years ago.
    It was getting a job too far away to walk to that started the slippage.

    Anyway, a week to go and I will be unicycling to work! :)


Post a Comment

<< Home